New year, new start, new life
2018... Not a single day too soon. I am welcoming this new year with open arms, like a family member that has been missing. I am not sure how to sum up 2017, but I am not going to remember it as a good year.
The downstairs bathroom is "done" (as good as it gets with these people), although we still haven't seen the invoice or our key that they still have. Oh, and they were "done" in September, a job they started in March that should not take more than 2-3 months...
The summer of 2017 was supposed to be the best, but ended up the worst because of something that happened the week before my birthday. I will leave out the details, but this is something that fucked up a lot of things and I don't think I'll get over it for a while. I'm trying to accept that, but it is hard.
Since my summer vacation was not very private, meaning I didn't have any alone-time, I didn't get time to process it all right after it happened. Going back to work wouldn't make it any easier since we had to start working over time every week starting in August and our heaviest period of the year started and kept going until October/November. Also, the first week of my summer vacation I had to go to the doctor with a soar throat and I had to take pills for 10 days....
My body started to tell me to stop (or at least to slow down a bit) by giving me a weird vibration-feeling in my chest and a heart that was beating way too fast, usually when going to bed. My resting heart rate is usually around 65-71 bpm, but as I was about to fall asleep my heart rate could spontaneously raise to 95+ bpm. Almost every time I would kinda panic, being sure that this is the time I die becuase of a heart attack. This would go on almost every night for 2-3 months before I finally went to see a doctor.
They checked my heart and my blood, and it turns out I'm very healthy. At least physically...
Dealing (or postponing dealing) with the issues during 2017 made me lose all motivation to stay healthy (working out and eating healthy food). I usually turn to food/sweets when I'm depressed or sad, and this time was not an exception.
2011 was my "fatso-year". I gained so much weight and that is when my weight peaked... Until now. I have now gained so much weight, this is the "heaviest" I've ever been. It has gotten to the point where most of my clothes are too tight and only going for a walk is exhausting. Maybe that's not too weird since im carrying like 12 kg more than I did in June...
This year I am going to focus on being healthy rather than having "losing weight" as my main goal. I want to be able to accept the things I cannot change. I want to have the strength to take control over my life and my own mind.
2018 is going to be my get-well-year!
