Packes Syrra

I live my life with few regrets. I think that regrets won't make my life better and since I can't do anything to change what has already happened, there is no point of having them. I love my life and every single decision I have made in my 9530 days on this planet have lead me to where I am today. I can remember 2 or 3 things that I genuinely regret. One of those things was almost 9 years ago when I skipped school to go to a concert. I went there early with a friend to stand in the very front of the crowd. We sat outside the club and very soon after we got there I saw two of the band members walking on the street. They saw the fans sitting there and waved at us. When I saw them I almost started crying and kinda froze. I couldn't do anything. My regret is not walking up to them to say hello. Still after 9 years they're still one of my favourite bands. 

 

One of my other regrets goes even further back. I was 15 and in the middle of a hormone-chaos. My feelings were very teenage-y and once I got in a fight with my parents. I felt like there was only one person in the world who understood me and that was Liza. I was really angry and I decided that I was going to take my scooter and go to her place. My mum said I couldn't but I was going to anyway. I put on one shoe and had the other one in my hand when my mum grabbed me. She didn't want me to drive when I was in a middle of a rage black out, so she tried to stop me by holding me. Here is my regret: Trying to break free from her grip I hurt her on purpose. It is definitely the biggest regret of my life, hurting someone I love so much. It really hurts my heart that I did that and that I can't take it back. 
Mum (and dad), if you ever read this I want you to know that I am sorry for hurting you. I love you more than anything in the world and if there was ANYTHING I could do to undo it, I would do it in a heartbeat. <3 

 

For those of you who don't know me or my parents should know that I have the best parents in the world. They have always put me and my brother first. We have always been spoiled (without becoming brats), not only with things and doing what we want to do, but most importantly with love. Mum and dad always take their time and always cared, and even if both me and my brother moved from home we are still just as spoiled. I cannot imagine a better family and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. 

 

On a less serious note, here is my latest regret:

Yesteray I went for a run. It was the worst run in years and for a second I thought I wouldn't make it all the way. I did, but it was the slowest run in a long time. Now, I'm not regretting going for a run yesterday. I regret NOT going for a run more often. During my holiday I put on some weight and I didn't work out for a few weeks, and right now I am not really in shape. I am disappointed in myself for not taking care of my health and fitness. Last year I was in good shape and started to like my body again, but since then I have gained weight and now I am back to not liking it again.

 

However, this motivates me to start over. I see this as a fresh start and  I'm not gonna see this as a failure, but as an opportunity to make a change.

 

Enough regrets. Let's change this MotherFucker!  

 

Just got back to work. I've been on holiday in Mallorca for a few days and it really was amazing! 

 

I am going to see this as a new beginning and a chance to prepare for next summer. Yes, I am talking about #Beach2016. Seems a bit far away now, since there barely was a #Beach2015. We have had like 5 actual days of summer and the weather has just been awful. And since I've been complaining about the weather since September 2014, this summer SUCKED! BALLS! Like, big time.... Now I'm thinking this might be my last autumn/winter in Sweden for a while. The worst part is that I could only enjoy this shitty weather if I knew that was actually true. I keep dreaming about moving abroad, I just have to convince my boyfriend that it is a good idea, hopefully so much that he will come with me...

 

During my trip to Mallorca I have had so much unhealthy food and snacks. Still I think that is allowed when you're on holiday. I've put on some holiday weight and today is the first day of my "new life" (actually, the first day I'm back in my old healthy life). 

 

The first few days are the hardest. Like today, being really hungry for lunch and not having brought lunch to work. Buying food during lunch is not only expensive but sometimes it is hard to find healthy food. Also, it's hard not walk in to McD, since it is on the way to the supermarket. Today I got a sub with chicken teryaki. Starting tomorrow, I'm bringing food to work every day of this month! 

 

I am planning on going to the gym this week as well. It is what I need to really get my motivation going. It is easier to stay away from snacks and unhealthy food when I'm working out. Having that snack or chocolate would make the working out seem like a waste of time. You'd think that it would work the other way around, like "since I went to the gym I can 'afford' a few more calories", but it doesn't (Thank Lord). 

 

I cannot wait until I'm back in the game. That energy and confidence is like a drug, the more you have, the more you need! 

 

Usually when I have an upcoming trip it is easier to stay motivated. Now, I have two months until my next trip to London... Let's see what I can do! ;)

 

XXX

 

I have always loved travelling and visiting new places. What fascinates most about it is being able to travel a loooong distance in a very short period of time. In just roughly 2 hours I can go from Stockholm to London, in 10 hours I can get as far as Thailand. Every time I'm on holiday I think about the fact that only a few hours ago I was in Sweden/wherever I've been and it amazes me every single time. At this point I am an experienced traveller, with at least 3 return trips/year, still I'm really excited for it every single time. I love having a window seat!

 

When I turned 25 I got a gift certificate for a flying lesson, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I actually did it. It really was one of the most amazing things I have ever done. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was definitely better than I ever would've imagined. At first we got in the plane and went through a checklist making sure the plane was ready. I flew with an experienced pilot who told me what he was doing and why. He managed the take off, and when we got up to 3000 ft (about 1000 m) he told me that I could carefully grab the joystick-thingy and control the plane myself. 

 

The flight was about 30 minutes and I got to control it for about 15 minutes, flying over the village where I grew up, then the pilot took over and showed me around (even though I know that place, since I lived there for 22 years, I have to say it looks a lot different from 3000 ft).

 

After my flying lesson most people I have talked to asked me if I was scared but honestly, I wasn't. Not even for a second. I just felt so happy and all I wanted to do was to get back in that plane and fly away. 

 

Now I really want a PPL (Private Pilot Licence) so that I can fly whenever I want.Unfortunately it is pretty expensive to get one, also you have to spend a lot of time to learn how to fly. Hopefully one day I will have the money and time for it. Maybe I will win the lottery. Then I will definitely buy a plane and get a PPL... 

 

 

 

 

I was talking to a friend from England the other day who suggested that I should write my blog in English and I thought that's a fantastic idea. Not only because all (most) of my friends will understand what I am saying, but also because I really love the English language. I feel it is easier to express myself in English, even though my native language is Swedish. Sometimes I even use expressions in English when I'm talking to my Swedish friends just to really make my message clear. I love when I get to speak English but I've never really liked when people comment on my accent, even if it's a compliment, because it has always made me embarrassed. I'm a perfectionist like that, I want my English to really be perfect before someone says anything about it. 

 

When me and Malin went to Download Festival in England in June we met a lot of people and a some of them asked us where we're from. I asked them to guess (based on the way I was speaking) and all of them guessed different areas in England. Somehow this did not make me ebarrassed at all, maybe because it felt more honest than someone saying "Your English is really good" out of nowhere... Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like hearing it, it's just that I'm not sure how to handle it. 

 

I always want to get better at it, so I think writing my blog in English is a really good idea. I'm gonna try it for a while, and if someone wants it in Swedish I'm just gonna have to write in English and Swedish. 

 

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This week has been awful. I stayed home from work all week since I have a cold. And not just like a regular one, becuase if it was I'd probably not still have it. I've felt like shit all week, with a blocked nose, sore throat and no energy what so ever. Since saturday I've used like 200 handkerchiefs (and I'm not even exaggerating, and yeah I know - disgusting!!). The nasal spray didn't work for a couple of days and I couldn't taste any of the food I had. I'm not sure what is worse - not being able to breath through your nose or not being able to taste the food. I feel like - "if you can't taste it, what is even the point of eating?". That is how much I love food. 

 

Doing nothing makes me super restless. It's is really a struggle when you just wanna go to the gym but don't even have the energy to go to the kitchen to get some water, even though your mouth is so dry, even a desert would seem moist in comparison.

 

 

I really can't wait for this shit to be over so that I can go back to the gym!! 

 

Oh well, I'm gonna make my get-well-cocktail (water, sliced ginger and lemon), have some watermelon, watch Game Of Thrones and hope for this cold to fuck off right to where it belongs!

 

XXX

Våren 2015 var ett fiasko! Jag tror att någon straffade mig efter att jag har sagt hela vintern att "Jag längtar efter våren!". Jag menade ju förstås att "Jag längtar efter våren så att sommaren kan komma strax därefter". Våren blev lång, närmare bestämt fram till sista veckan i Juni, men SEN...

 

Sen kom sommaren! Vädret idag är helt fantastiskt - 29*C och inte ett moln på himlen. 

 

Jag tror att jag skrivit om det tidigare i min blogg, men mitt humör och mitt mående styrs fruktansvärt mycket av vädret. Den värsta tiden för mig på året är hösten. Det är kallt, det är mörkt. Det blir kallare, det blir mörkare. Visst finns det fina höstdagar men de brukar ofta vara lätträknade. 

Sommaren däremot, är den bästa tiden på året! Dagar som denna med skinande sol och varmt väder får mig nästan att dansa fram. 

 

Jag vet inte vad som är värst - Kylan eller Mörkret... Det är nog kombinationen. Mörkret gör mig trött och kylan gör så att jag fryser! HUA!

 

Jag önskar att det kunde få vara sommar i 6 månader och sen kunde vi klänmma in de andra årstiderna under det övriga halvåret. Jag tror att jag i framtiden kommer vara säsongare och bo i Sverige på sommaren och utomlands på vintern. Förhoppningsvis får jag med mig Johan, men annars får vi helt enkelt bli deltidssambos...

 

En sak är säker. Jag kommer inte vilja bo i detta klimat hela livet. 

 

Jag hörde en rolig (men sann) sak härom dagen - Det finns inget dåligt väder, bara idioter till förfäder som flyttade hit efter istiden! TRUE STORY!

 

XXX